Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Doggone North Korea

North Korea is the yappy-dog of the world.

You know what a yappy dog is, don't you? We have one at our house. A yappy dog is a small, furry ball of energy that demands constant focus, and unless it is the center of attention, will continue to pester and act out until it become the focus of your life at a particular moment in time. Behavioral traits include—but are not limited to—pooping in the house, nipping at your feet as you walk past, and barking at the slightest threat—real or imagined—that appears unexpectedly.

At our house, it’s the yappy-dog’s world...we just happen to live in it. And to be fair, all of us at the Clanton Hacienda, to a degree, are responsible for allowing that behavior.

North Korea has become the yappy dog on the world stage. Not content with its role as a has-been (actually, a never-was) world power with a failed philosophy (communism) of governing its minions, North Korea has been rattling its sabers lately, playing the N-card (no, not that N-card, the nuclear one!) as a means of drawing attention to itself.

On July 4th, within ten minutes of the United States’ launch of the Discovery space shuttle, North Korea decided to not be outdone by launching a series of seven small, medium, and intercontinental ballistic missiles—one of which is believed to have the design capabilities to reach the continental US. They all fell into the Sea of Japan, yap yap yap yap.

One of the games our yappy dog likes to play involves a 9-inch length of cotton rope, knotted at both ends, which she likes to take in her mouth and tug and growl while we hold the other end. The object of the game is for the yappy dog to end up with all the rope, which is pretty entertaining, since she hasn’t a clue as to what to do with it once she’s gotten it all.

At 3.5-pounds, the ferocity of our dog is absurd; fortunately, she’s endeared herself to the entire family, and she is little more than a lovable source of entertainment. North Korea, on the other hand, is the 3.5-pound yappy dog of the international community you want to just slap across the room (or remand to its kennel for an hour or two, just to shut it up).

North Korea is tugging on a 9-inch piece of rope connecting to nothing. It’s growling while it tries to “conquer” that rope, with which it has no clue what to do. It would not be wise to underestimate this country. This week’s missile shots were tests—which laughably failed. If they keep it up, the odds are they’ll get one missile to work. That could stain everyone’s day.

Every once in a while, our yappy dog gets a good grip on that rope and pulls it away. She trots to the other end of the house and guards it intently, marking her turf on the carpet (you know what I mean.)

Those stains can be cleaned.
But a yappy dog with a missile would make a serious mess to clean up.

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